If every U.S. state had a surname for bastards, like Game of Thrones, what would each state’s name be?

There was a fun thread on reddit yesterday that asked users to come up with Game of Thrones-like surnames for every U.S. State. I went through and picked out my favorites from the thread and mapped them below.

When reading these, read it as, “You know nothing, Jon ______.”

GoT Bastard Map - US

Dr. Randy Olson is the Lead Data Scientist at Life Epigenetics, Inc., where he is bringing advanced data science and machine learning technology to the life insurance industry.

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  • Charles

    Maryland should be Grey, Mass should be Bay, NJ should be Garden, and NY should be Harbor or Empire.

  • MCL

    Crab for MA? Uuuuh…shouldn’t that be MD? MA should be Cod, Sox, Taxes, Wicked, or Bay.

    • jim

      Lobstuh or chowdah

  • sean

    raven for maryland? really? for some football team that has existed for less than 2 decades?

    • jim


  • Trebor

    Tennessee is Delta? Um…what? Why not Whisky or Smoke?

  • SC should be Palmetto, not palm.

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  • jim

    Weed for CO lol

  • AKM

    wtf is up with Missouri? Um…why cave? As dumb as it may sound, ‘Show-Me’ would be WAAAAYY more appropriate

  • Frank

    Lobster, not Crab!

  • Dawa Lama

    A question inspired by this article